


all we ever do is drive and hold hands

by HazedHaze



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Bisexuality, Canon Compliant, Coping Mechanisms, Driving, F/F, Love Confessions, look these girls are both bi and love each other fight me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-17 21:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10602267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazedHaze/pseuds/HazedHaze
Summary: > Emma liked to drive as much as she loved Cristina.





	

Emma liked to drive.

It was an indisputable fact.

Much like her love for Cristina Rosales.

 

She had always been aware of the latter fact but it only became immediately apparent to her attention in conjunction with another fact.

It was a late summer night when her mind wouldn't settle on anything but an endless freeway ahead of her.

The stars were gone, clouded by climate change, something that Livvy cared about, Emma was sure, and the empty sky represented her thoughts in their entirety. The towering buildings of LA's cityscape had trapped the limitless sky.

"What is it?" Cristina reached out with a steady hand to hold Emma's shoulder from the passenger seat. She did so with a manner that felt comforting rather than controlling because it was _her_.

"Never much." Emma answered a question that she had asked herself often, confused by her own actions and desires. _What are you doing out here every night?_

"You can tell me in actions rather than words." Cristina pulled her hand away and a strange, cold feeling of loss emitted from a patch of skin on Emma's right shoulder. "If you would like?"

As Cristina's voice rose to a question at the end of her sentence, out of the corner of her vision, Emma saw Cristina entwine her fingers together and rest them in her lap.

The action crinkled Cristina's knee-length red skirt with folds that perfectly matched the red of the seat belt buckles at her side. She'd bought it at a fair last week and Emma recalled her smile at buying it.

Emma reluctantly dragged her eyes back to the road, focused on the lone soul ahead of her; they inhabited a white Mitsubishi that could not commit to one lane and preferred to swirl from side to side with roars.

"So what will my actions tell you?" Emma murmured; a deeply buried panic arose from somewhere beyonf her deeply buried heart.

"That you are not as free as you want to be."

Cristina spoke in soft tones and uncaring truths. She must've known that Emma was plagued by so many bonds.

 _Bonds_.

The word could mean many things.

Firstly, a bond like hers with Julian was inescapable for lack of a kinder word like forever.

Lastly, a bond like that with the death of her parents was a chain pulling her away and down.

But Cristina, beautiful Cristina with her choice to stay in Los Angeles and her small mysteries, she was not a bond. She was a gush of wind that had blown Emma upright.

That, admittedly, terrified Emma.

Sometimes, as she curled around Julian in their bed, choking back sobs, she thought that the only things that stayed were those that had no choice.

Crisitina wasn't tied to Emma and could leave her at any time. It might just be a matter of time.

She supposed that what Cristina didn't know was that Emma clinged to those bonds that kept her from freedom because otherwise? Otherwise Emma would have nothing.

She needed the chains to feel free because she could never be free.

"What freedom could you offer me?" Emma spoke, keeping her eyes ahead, racing past exit after exit in this conversation and in the world around her, and she already knew parts of the answer herself.

"My heart," Cristina seemed more certain of herself than earlier on, "if you give me your heart in return."

Such a daring, unblemished proclamation.

Powerful in its meaning for the two of them, it seemed entirely appropriate for a drive like this.

The golden headlights of cars approaching from the other direction periodically bathed the two girls in light and the smell of gasoline lingered amongst the swelling salt of the sea air.

"Of course." Emma agreed, for _this_ , this was becoming a bond; something she understood and relied upon.

As Cristina bonded herself to Emma, Emma would bond herself to Cristina.

The last fact, Emma came to the conclusion, was that she wanted this - needed this. To be with Cristina had been her desire for a while.

*

But, she thought to herself as she allowed herself to hold hands with the other girl across the car, maybe she'd have some control in this bond.

**Author's Note:**

> cristina and emma are both bi, fight me i have proof.
> 
> q: do u know whose pov the last part after the * is ? bc i probably dont.
> 
> so ya, this is short but i needed to write something \\(*.*)/
> 
> follow me @magisteriumm + @juliianblackthrone +check out my other ao3 fics than ks !
> 
> why? bc i love this series *cough* rosastairs + julian in particular *cough*


End file.
